Friends are the family you choose, or at least that’s how the saying goes, right? And since it’s Best Friends Day, I wanted to share some tips and tricks for making a long distance friendship work.
Sometimes people come into your lives, and you don’t even expect it. That’s how my friendship with my best friend and soulmate, Liz, came about. I met Liz my junior year of college, when my three roommates and I moved into the apartment style dorms where everyone FINALLY got their own rooms. We had a fourth room available in our dorm, and Liz became our fourth roommate. We eventually bonded over her amazing baked ziti (she’s a New York Italian), and binging on Gilmore Girls. We also studied abroad the same quarter in college, and people who travelled with us couldn’t believe we’d only been friends for a quarter before we traveled to Europe. We just click. We are both serious foodies, lovers of fashion, and basically are good at making everyone want to vomit because we are constantly confessing our love for each other by sharing random articles about “how your best friend is your soul mate” or “how you know you’ve found your person” on one another’s Facebook wall #noshame. We even got addicted to barre workouts together, and were always holding each other accountable for going to class. We also may or may not be known for twinning, accidentally and on purpose. Kind of like we are here with our coordinating PJs. 😂 We basically were inseparable our last two years of college.
Once we graduated, not only were we struggling with those somewhat depressing feelings of post-grad life, but we were also having to get used to not being with each other constantly. We pretty much spent all of our time together when we weren’t in class, and people would always ask where the other person was if we ever showed up somewhere alone. That’s just how our friendship was.
Fast forward two years after college, Liz lives in Texas, and I live back home in Alabama. The struggle is real when your BFF lives hundreds of miles away. But when you have a friendship like ours, the miles don’t matter at all. So, I wanted to share how we keep our friendship feeling like we never skipped a beat, despite the miles between us and the time we spend apart.
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Bottom line is when you find a friend who gets you and always know what you need, you hold onto them. Click To Tweet
Here a few of our tips for how we keep our friendship going strong.
1. Make Time for Long Phone Calls or FaceTime/Skype Sessions
Sometimes you just need to talk to your bestie and have a serious catch up session. Liz and I usually have one of these once a month or so where we can sit down and talk to each other for a couple of hours. Life gets busy and we don’t always get to talk everyday, so it’s great when you can set aside time to share what’s been going on in each of your lives.
2. A Weekly Text Message
Sometimes if I don’t hear from Liz for a few days, I like to send her a message just to let her know I’m thinking of her, and to make sure she’s doing ok. It’s little things like that that let your person know you’re thinking of them and missing them. Also, just being able to make the other person laugh with a gif of an inside joke, always results in a smile. (Our gif of choice is Jimmy Fallon’s EW!).
3. Send Them Things That Make You Think of Them
Sometimes if I’m out shopping and I see something that I know Liz will love or it’s something we both love, I’ll send her a pic of it. Likewise, Liz will send me articles or links on Facebook that are something that we like. OR even when our song comes on on my phone (yes, we have a song!) I will screenshot it and send it to her because I’m missing our car jam sessions. I think just letting the person know you are thinking of them shows them that you value them as a friend.
4. Go the Extra Mile for Holidays
Liz and I usually don’t get to see each other during each other’s birthdays or holidays, so I always like to send her lots of fun goodies in the mail on special occasions! She sent me the cutest Kate Spade champagne glasses as an engagement gift, and that was so thoughtful and I will always appreciate those because they are so special. I think we buy each other the best gifts because we both have such similar tastes. Even with the littlest things, just going out of your way to make the other person feel loved is so important.
5. Take Advantage of Every Opportunity You Can to Spend Quality Time Together In-Person
Everyone has busy schedules, and sometimes it’s hard to get together. Especially when hanging out requires a lot of planning ahead. But, when it works out for you to get together, it’s so important to enjoy that quality time and make the most of it when you can. One of our roommates got married this past year. So, not only did we celebrate our BFF that weekend for her big day, but we also attended her wedding as each other’s date. We had so much fun! Liz also came down recently for our engagement party at my parent’s lake house, and it was so nice getting to spend time together just relaxing by the water.
If there’s anything you can take away from this, it’s that making the effort to make your long distance friend feel like a priority, even though miles and miles separate you is the best thing you can do. Taking the time to listen to them vent about that thing that happened at work or listening to their struggles with installing laminate flooring in their new house (true story). Going out of your way to make them feel important and appreciated is key to maintaining a long lasting friendship. Relationships are work, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in. But it’s definitely harder to find friends that truly get you, appreciate you, and love you the way only your bestie can. (Ok, I’m going to go wipe away my tears from ugly crying during this post… JK. But… I might have teared up a bit.)
Hug your besties a little tighter, or send them some virtual love when you can!
*PJ Sets courtesy of Kate Spade in celebration of #BestFriendsDay.